Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
