PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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