he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
