I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
