well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
