I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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