I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
