Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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