I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
