So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up under a house in Key West
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
