Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
