Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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