Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
