He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
