The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
