Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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