Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
