The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
