I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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