Do you still have your period?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
