he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
