Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
