I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
