Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
