Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
