About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
