I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How's work?
Spinning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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