Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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