so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
