how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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