evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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