You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
