Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
