so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
