weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have feelings that need drinking.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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