I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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