He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
