return my video game
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
