He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
