Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
