The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
