I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
