Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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