ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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