just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
