I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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