idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
