Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
