ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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