just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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