okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
